The dog was spayed yesterday, and during some of the time she was having her surgery my wife and I lunched at a nearby restaurant, where of course there were a couple of paramedics finishing their meal as we arrived. It still hurts so bad that it’s really gone. They obviously aren’t on the trucks anymore either but they get to keep their professional identity and I get a computer with word perfect classes. It sure seems like I did something wrong to deserve this sometimes but everyone says I haven’t. I don’t think it cynical to acknowledge that life just has its way with you and it’s fucking maddening to have to resign and go through it.

Once again, try as I may, the computer stuff won’t work properly, I don’t have the ability to “people” anymore to get help and I’m just done with this shit. Some other day is a new day or something.

Everyone has things they would only relent under duress and they all understand this deeply despite their council. It’s universal, and I don’t mean the usual obvious non-negotiable relational cliches either. This isn’t about that. It’s about the deeply personal realtionship with the universe and self.

Those old worn out paramedic uniforms are staying in the closet and that shiny new computer pissed me off so back to the shelf it goes. In the spirit of personal growth and the aforementioned relationship it’s now time for some Satanic Warmaster, Atmosphere, Mayhem, Satyricon and a liberal number of toots off the new ol’ ‘NSFW Missionary Mango Liquid Diamond vaporizer cartridge’. Hails.

Until next time, stay recovered bits and bites!