I know I have to feel but I don’t know how to cope with it, illuminated hopelessness, chasing mobius, perpendicular jumps to escape the cyclical phobias leads to copious complicated nervous habit quotas, I drank the kool-aid but I ended up tripping balls, hold the applause for the acid-test career flaws as I relive another one of them flawless calls, if god made pain is only he himself above those laws? Lord make these feelings deciduous, superfluous, make them fall and turn to dust to feed new life and growth in us, I want to believe fair is the gist but I’ve seen first hand you don’t exist, I’m too sensitive a realist, I should have embraced the arts and not acted on my weaknesses. I have an awful lot of big feelings I can’t yet trust, another mass emotional exodus with palpable corrosiveness, a powerful neurosis singing a valuable chorus. Hold me tight, maybe I’ll sleep tonight, please don’t let the memories bite and if they do please help me see with light.