As the time in our current home diminishes the bittersweet is setting in. There are good things about the neighbourhood, and despite the recent realization from the shock of a pre-inspection going well that not painting it pretty made everyone believe I was letting it go to wreck and ruin, this house has been a great home and served us well. The thing is the ugly made it the house it was, the house we loved to hate. The outdated kitched, the crooked cabinets, the continual unearthing of the next jimmy-job when we did repairs. That fucking yellow paint highlighted by the shit-brown faux wainscotting. The toilet rough-ins that didn’t account for the thickness of the tiling on the walls behind. The wiring lovingly done with scraps of extension cord. The shock that the windows even I thought were shit are fine, the haze being entirely cosmetic.

I could go on but the point is this house has left us with a thousand stories to tell and not a doubt in my mind that it’s time to move on.

I’m glad the house hunt is over. I had mixed feelings looking at houses as walking into strange places and looking around was way too familiar, both to reality and nightmare. I still found myself looking for the wrong things, things important to safety at work and not to my family in a future home. Having the dog helped greatly as trying to express this kept getting lost in the exuberant conversations and was getting me frustrated at times. I even had an owner come back and kick me out for bringing my dog into his house. He didn’t want my vested service dog getting his unvaccinated mutts sick after his buddy’s dirty dog apparently cost him thousands doing just that. Everyone else still checked the house out anyway while the owner harassed me about compromising over the dog outside, I guess to confirm they didn’t want the house I would have refused on principal anyway. Stepping away for moments alone to absorb without distraction also helped. Watching the dog settle was a good sign a house could be a home. It meant I was already starting to if she was. I always had one question, first and foremost.

Do I really see this, compromises and all? Perfection, you are a ruthless muse.

Moving day approaches.