I’m not a paramedic anymore either. I haven’t been for a while but now it’s going to officially all be taken away, and hey, I might find I actually like sitting in front of that computer and that I’m good at it. (Thanks OT. You’ve helped me immensely, but seriously?) At least my honesty and trust has set a good example of what not to do with others for my therapists moving forward. I’m feeling really humiliated after fighting so hard to regain said trust. Whoever opined about honesty obviously wasn’t a first responder struggling with career and identity after a PTSD diagnosis.

I feel like everyone who convinced me it’s not about the nail only wants to talk about the nail now (google “it’s not about the nail; fantastic video). Nothing left to do but get a hammer.

I’m not going to change “paramedic” to “ennui” in my domain name but the thought has obviously been there. How tongue-in-cheek would that be? I’ll do other stuff with the rest of my life, I’m still here to fuck shit up, but the thing is, for better or worse, paramedic is forever ingrained in my nervous system and psyche now. Even if ignorance expects otherwise and doesn’t think that the case.

Back to being that dismissed dirtbag of yesteryear lol. There was a lot less pressure and I always lived up to the expectations.

Until next time, laugh at life and stay recovered! Pick up a few pieces of garbage along the way while you do.

This shit is fucking ridiculous.