I want to get high under cotton candy skies, who cares about the passing of time? Little by little reality fiddles and behold! It’s time to be fried! Under the influence and unsure I make sense I’m just doing my best to survive. How can doing good hurt so bad? How can coping suddenly fall so flat? Is god even here? Don’t stare. You wouldn’t like it if it was you in there. Humiliation ends another night without care. So tired of it all I’m barely aware. Mental stability diminishes eventually, finally crashing, hysterically laughing. Self-hatred gleefully accuses me of losing my nobility, no ability, I fear this new identity, its malignancy cast silently. I’m testing the waters but sensing tremors, struggling with the easy answers. I tried to act on truth and fact but my crystal ball had a cataract, reality cracked now I’m not in the pack, feelings cannot be held back.