I told my WSIB case manager that I wanted to try exposure to work again during my next OT sessions. She called again to follow up on yesterday. I answered. I was feeling pretty confident in the moment when we got talking about what I had accomplished with the OT and that’s when I just blurted it out. Now I find myself afraid and crying about it. Again with the crying. Why do I always get intoxicated with hope? What if it’s still too soon? What if I try again and struggle again? I passed by a collision yesterday in my travels. Pretty severe one from the looks of it. I watched for a few seconds while the paramedics immobilized one of the patients before I turned. That used to be me. Now I puff my chest up in a fleeting moment of bravado based on past abilities and just end up crying about it instead when I realize I have nothing to back it up with.