I drove to my parents house today with my oldest son. About a 3 hour drive. There was a lot of heavy traffic for most of that. But despite the anxiety trying to screw with me a couple of times I was able to take a breath (or two) and keep things under control. It’s only recently that I have found some confidence behind the wheel. For a while my poor wife was stuck doing all of the driving. My hands would sweat. I would shake. The startle reflex was on high alert. Seeing emergency vehicles was triggering and distracting. That was as a passenger. So to be able to do what I did today without my wife in the car is a true sign of progress for me, and I’m going to recognize that. I berate myself with negativity so often that I need to celebrate the wins. I have had a difficult time accepting that things I could once do effortlessly were now causing me anxiety. It makes me feel weak. How could a paramedic worth their salt have such intense anxiety? That’s what makes days like today so valuable to me. I beat the anxiety today. It shows I’m learning to appreciate what I can do instead of just shitting on myself for what I can’t.